Thursday, November 10, 2011

Worst Pick Up Lines

Sis aka LMF asked on her last blog post, "what were the worst pick up lines you ever got?" 
I have quite a few with stories attached to some in response to that one hahaha

Tip #1 Guys; 
Pick up lines are ALWAYS really cheesy and makes a girl 
NOT want to date you automatically after hearing it. 
Unless she is VERY gullible and believes that crap.

1. "You have very nice skin, its so pale and pure... perfect for tattooing"
That was a random messege from a guy on myspace who i actually met years later by chance. 
I brought that up and he got embaressed and pretened to not know who i was. (Probably because his wife was standing there with the kids)
2. "I just wanted to let you know, that i see you two fist pumping over here having a good time"
(There was no music playing, there fore no fist pumping was happening. only us quietly watching the UFC paper view on the tvs having a drink bullshitting)
Only when Sis and I are at a bar, can some asshole come up to us and say dumb shit lmao.
I told him, "It's nice to know you have eyeballs, can I help you?"
He responded with, "If you girls want a drink tonight, let me know I'll buy it."
WTF?! lmao that was also the night Sis met some jackass i think his name was Matt that wouldnt stop texting her to the point where she wanted to throw her phone.
Tip #2 Guys; 
If a girl doesn't answer your phone call or text the first time. Give it a rest! 
Blowing up her phone, is only a turnOFF & makes you look psychotic. 
You can most definitely kiss your chances with her goodbye if she looks at her phone and sees 765434567 missed called and 87654567890 texts.

 3. "Yo shorty, lemme getcha numba you lookin FINE tonight! Leave ya boy n cum wit me. mMmMm i'll treat you better then him. dayummm uze fine"
Mind you, I was standing outside Starbucks with my bf and we were all over each other and shit so he was NOT happy when this kid came up and said this shit. 
But i said to the kid (because i think he was only like 16) you see im with my man, walk away.
This kid was so stupid, him and his friend did that twice! 
THEN my bf went up to them and said he was going to kick their ass if they hit on me again & so they ran off like scared puppies lol
4. "Wow, I never met a girl who like knew anything about beer. Or a girl that like really likes to drinks beer. That's pretty hott.... can i like... get your number to... um.... talk about.... beer??"
If your not a valley GIRL from the 80's, you shouldn't say "like" so much!!
Stuttering and stammering is also a turn off, girls like guys who have some sort of confidence.
 5. "You have really pretty eyes"
Um, come up with something slightly origional please?
Plus, in a dark bar how the fuck are you going to see what my eyes look like?? You're an idiot.
I get the creepiest "pick up line" messages on the internet:
glewykablewy: heya hotsymama, i plan to travel the states by blow-up kayak and fold-up bike in order to farm, have fun and (if you want) stop by your house. you are absolutely sexy and delicious looking but you knew that... i wonder how you taste...
Yene_Coene: i can't help but appreciate your boobs in that pic. not to be a perv or anything if you can't see what I mean, then iunno....

I probably have more bad pick up line stories i just cant think of more right now lol.
The dating world, what a cruel and stupid place lol. 
Thankfully I'm taken, but i still get hit on by dumbasses.


Little Ms. Fun said...

LOL @ your pick up lines. I seee youuu!! Um, creep! You're reaction was priceless. You did your typical bugged out eyes and said "Excuse me?" hahaha

We need to work on that pick up line phone app!!

Love you girrlll :)

MurphysLaw said...

love you too sis :]